I have made my choice. As you know yesterday was bad but it got worse. At 1a.m. this morning I woke up suddenly and well had an anxiety attack. I know. You're probably like "Why didn't she mention this before?!" Well truth is that was my second attack. The first was a while back and I didn't think anything of it. This time... I couldn't ignore it. So I wake up right away for no reason. But i had the hot chills I was drenched in cold sweat. I couldn't breath and my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest. Probably a nightmare, right? Wrong. I thought the same thing for the first minute. Then I realized 'Why isn't my slowing down? Why can I still not breath?' I got even more freaked. I needed help but nobody was there. My mom should have gotten home from work but she wasn't there and I got even more scared. So all was horrible. I didn't calm down until roughly 4:30 or 5. I was scared to sleep because it might happen again and only two words were on my mind "Anxiety attack."
Today we were in the library doing research so I thought I'd check anxiety attacks. I came across an article about anxiety disorders. I have 34 (maybe 35) out of 35 symptoms. And this isn't some thing that shows a couple of thimes. I've had those symptoms my whole life. I thought it was normal. It's not.
I should also say that I made a choice. I'm with Justin. No matter what Dimitri does. I'm not calling it off with Justin. Justins safe. Dimitri makes me crazy and with my new knowlege I should stick with Justin.
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